Learning To Love One’s Self….

Yesterday I delivered my work to Blue Owl Art ready for the Exploring Place exhibition..

….and even though there is the Private View tomorrow night and the continuing exhibition, it felt a little like ‘well that’s that, now what?’..

I’ve felt loathe to pick up my paints and inks again and I couldn’t work out why….until I realised I was waiting to see how the exhibition work was received…if favourably that was like a thumbs up to carry on, if not, well it was time to go back to the drawing board, excuse the pun…

Lack of confidence in my ability and work is a huge obstacle for me (seeing the work of John Pooler and Kate Robotham, the other artists in the exhibition, started that little, doubting voice in my head,) … it is as if I am waiting for someone else to say ‘it’s okay, you’re doing well’…

So I have been doing a bit of soul-searching, reflecting, reading… regular visitors to my blog will know that I recently went on a Helen Hallows workshop and I was particularly taken with some things she realised when she fell out of love with herself and her art…

‘I need to accept who I am, what I am, where I am’….

Helen also commented on how, after a visit to the National Space Centre and viewing a film there called ‘We are all Stars’, it made her realise that our place in the cosmos is insignificant; in the history of the universe, we are gone in the blink of an eye…

..so why worry the little things…so what if not everyone likes your work….as long as you do…

With that in mind I am working on learning to accept who I am and what I do…and I made a start today by giving myself permission just to play…not expecting anything, just splashing ink around, making marks…getting my fingers covered in charcoal…

…and I know that the majority of the above will be ‘filed’ but that’s okay..

…..because I had fun…and who knows, these experiments might lead me onto a new body of work or they may not…

…but I like them…..








4 thoughts on “Learning To Love One’s Self….

  1. I understand exactly what you mean Carolyn. I think its something many (if not all) artists go through at some stage. Good luck with the exhibition and I like some of these experiments too!

  2. Thanks Mari!! It’s all about learning to quieten that nagging voice & believe in yourself…sounds so easy ha ha!! But I am trying to take on board the advice of artists like yourself, Ruth McCabe etc …..that as long as I like the work and am happy with it then that really is all that matters!!

  3. I do like your inkworks which are in an extended format – especially the very tall ones. They make me think of Chinese scroll painting. Do you know the work of Scottish artist Kate Downie who works a lot in ink and had a residency in China? Also, but completely different, and less figurative, you might be interested in John Cage’s watercolours which also use extended formats. Good luck with the show in the meantime!

  4. Thanks Peter! I’m liking the long, tall format too so will keep experimenting! Will check out the work of John Cage and Kate Downie! Appreciate your good wishes!!

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